Please pray for me. As you may know, I have struggled with my health significantly over the past year, and a chronic struggle that started four years ago has continued to progress, and the doctors don't know what to do. My constant and progressing fatigue, sleepiness, forgetfulness, and lack of cognitive function have hindered my everyday life, making each day a heavy struggle.
Four years ago, at the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic, I was a healthy, normally functioning student who enjoyed thinking creatively, did exceptionally well in school, and only struggled with anxiety. I began homeschooling that year and came down with a case of Covid in around June-August of 2020. After recovering from the virus, I still felt lingering symptoms of the condition and went to see my physician. I was struggling with forgetfulness, fatigue, trouble focusing, and anxiety. When I described these symptoms to my doctor, he said that they were common among people of my age and would go away eventually. He prescribed me medication for my anxiety, but besides that, he dismissed the issues. As I started school again in the fall of 2020, I performed well, as I had in previous years, but I felt much more tired than I used to, and it took me longer to do my classes. As 2021 rolled around, I began journaling to track my struggles with my health, and my only regret is that I wish I had started sooner. I ended the school year in 2021 weakly, and once again went to see my doctor and consulted with him about my difficulties with my fatigue and brain fog, and he dismissed them. My mom encouraged me to attend the week-long Summer Camp for the youth at my church. I came back from that camp and had lost 10 pounds; I had come down with a terrible case of COVID-19 and was bedridden for a week. The symptoms were even heavier after this and continued to worsen, and have, still today.
Since the fall of 2021, I have struggled heavily in school, unable to focus, feeling so tired and weary, and working at a snail's pace, even with complete attention devoted to it. It was here that my memory and brain fog began to alter my life in a significant way. I tried to convince myself that my lack of energy and brain fog was due to a lack of discipline and organization. However, even when incorporating those things into my life, I still struggled heavily, and my body would fight back with migraines and severe sleepiness. I came down with Covid again in 2022, and my condition continued to worsen. These battles with my body had taken a huge toll on my mental health as well. I began facing frustration, confusion, and hopelessness. I started experiencing abdominal pain in late 2022, and in early to mid-2023, I experienced internal bleeding, not to get too graphic. I didn't think too much of it, but the pain in my chest under my lungs was increasing and would come in waves.
In May of 2023, I was seeing my dermatologist, and she had ordered some bloodwork so that we could try me on a new medication for my acne. She had said that results regarding my liver (ALT, AST, ALP) were unsettlingly high. She immediately contacted my physician, and he ordered more tests, and I had a doctor's appointment with him. I did a stool sample, and the inflammation markers (Calprotectin) were off the charts at 4,330, when they should usually be under 50. I began seeing a gastroenterologist, and I underwent an endoscopy and a colonoscopy in August of last year. I remember feeling so uncertain and fearful as the gastroenterologist informed me that the results were inconclusive following my colonoscopy, and he had me undergo two MRIs, one of which he never received, both of which were very difficult for my anxiety. At the beginning of September, he scheduled me to go in for a liver biopsy on November 5th since they were unable to determine what was causing my sickness. We have a family history of Crohn's disease and ulcerative colitis, but he said there wasn't enough evidence to support that. He said that I would need to be put on an IV infusion every two weeks for the rest of my life, which has a similar effect as chemotherapy and would lower my immunity so that my body would stop attacking itself. He said this would cause me to be more susceptible to sickness and also raise my risk of cancer by about five times, and given my family history of cancer, it would be much more than that. I wanted to cry, but due to my cognitive fogginess, I struggled to feel emotion and felt separated from it all in some way. He decided to put me on a light medication, which he didn't think would work with my situation. Everyone here and at my church was so faithful in praying for me, and I am deeply grateful for all the love and support I received during that time. The day before the liver biopsy, I went to see a hepatologist. We were preparing for the biopsy, and he had ordered new bloodwork a few days before, which we had mentioned to him, and he said he would review. As I knew it, the procedure would happen, but something unexplainable happened late the evening before. The inflammatory markers in my liver had all gone down into the reference range. The biopsy was called off. It was a miracle. Never before had I seen God so supernaturally present in a situation. Even today, the doctors still don't know how my numbers may have decreased so drastically back to normal. I met with my gastroenterologist a week later, who was confused about why we didn't proceed with the procedure. When he looked at the bloodwork, he was shocked and said he didn't know how it was possible and that even the medication I was on, which he didn't think would have an effect, wouldn't be able to drastically change so quickly.
God's faithfulness prevailed in my life, and my heart was at peace about my abdominal health. Later, bloodwork and samples all show normal ranges. Amidst the struggles in that area, my cognitive and physical health continued to decline, especially after that situation. I'm sure that stress was a significant contributor, but sometimes, I feel the inflammation in that area has gone everywhere else in my body.
In the last four months, I once again scheduled an appointment with my physician about my struggles with my brain health, along with some new issues that had become present. He again dismissed it, but my mom insisted that we see a neurologist this time, which we couldn't do without his approval due to our insurance. He wanted to do some new bloodwork to check some things that had been a little higher than they should be, and he referred us to a neurologist. We met with the neurologist for the first time on March 4th of this year. She was very friendly, and we talked for over an hour about the cognitive difficulties that I've faced over the last year. When I brought up that I have had Covid four times since 2020, she was shocked and began to draw connections between the rise of my autoimmune conditions, the brain fog, and fatigue. She confidently diagnosed me with Long-Covid. It's a group of health issues that persist following a Covid-19 encounter. She said that it is almost certain that the sudden appearance of the health struggles that I have is due to COVID-19 revealing and bringing forward these conditions quicker than if I hadn't had it. My body is actively waging war on itself and is in distress. Not only was my ulcerative colitis revealed through Covid, but it also brought high blood pressure, hypothyroidism, a weaker immune system, and joint inflammation. She scheduled an MRI for me to help with my migraines and hopefully provide some better results. She said that there isn't any cure for Long-Covid, as it is not very common, and there aren't very many trials being done regarding it. She has put me on some medication to suppress these symptoms, but they haven't been very effective so far, two months later. My bloodwork from my physician came back, and my thyroid stimulating hormone was high, but he called and said it was completely normal, though my mom is still doubtful. My MRI results came back. They found a white spot on my brain and said that it may just be a migraine spot, but part of me is uncertain, as I have colored flickering in my left eye located where the place is, and it has become more frequent and larger. I see the neurologist again on May 6th.
I know for a fact that I wouldn't be where I am today without the love and comfort of Christ and His Word. The only anchor that has stayed the same in my life is my daily Bible reading over the last three years, which keeps me going every morning. Some days, I feel so hopeless that I can't keep going. My emotional numbness and brain fog continue, and more frequently, I find myself struggling to get out of bed. But, in His promises, I find my hope. That I can do all things through Him who gives me strength, that the sorrow I face will last for a night, but joy comes in the morning, that I can take courage and know that He is with me through every step, appointment, moment of peace, and wave of hopelessness.
I don't know what the future will bring, and I know that answers won't take away the pain. I strive to live each day glorifying God where I am, but I fall so short. I am thankful for every reminder He gives me to help me continue pursuing that because I quickly forget His faithfulness. I am grateful for the suffering He has placed in my life, and I hope He will help me respond obediently and remember that he has given me this trial so that I will be shaped to be more like Christ. I must remember that God has been faithful in the past, in miraculous ways, many times. Thank you for caring about me and for loving me where I am. Please forgive me for my lack of frequent interaction. Some days are more difficult than others, and I struggle to get the words out. Please pray for me. Pray that God will work in my heart in my most troublesome moments so that I will love my family and friends with joy and selflessness. Pray that God will deliver me from this and grow me regardless of where I am. My heart goes out to you all in thankfulness, my brothers and sisters in Christ.
'Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. ' Romans 5:3-5